Goth Panda

For our combination Fourth of July/Mike’s birthday party, we made pizza on the grill. I don’t have any photos of the occasion, which is really a shame, since I think at one point there was the population of a small town in our pool. It was a very hot day.

I got a lot of requests for this recipe, so I am posting it here even though I don’t have photographic evidence of the grilled pizza goodness. I pre-baked the pizza crusts, in the hope that they would finish quickly on the grill, since we had a lot of them to make. The crust is based on Peter Reinhart’s (my bread-making guru) Neo-Neapolitan Pizza Dough from his book American Pie, but I made some changes to the procedure. Here’s what I did:

5 cups bread flour (21.25 ounces) — you can substitute all-purpose
1 tbsp honey
3.5 tsp kosher salt — if you are using regular salt, make it 2 tsp
1 tsp instant yeast — if all you have is active dry, proof it for five minutes in one cup of the warm water, and add it with the wet ingedients
2 tbsp olive oil
1 3/4 to 2 c water, room temperature (14 – 16 ounces)

In a stand mixer with a dough hook attachment, stir together the flour, salt, and yeast. While stirring, gradually add the honey, olive oil, and water and stir together for approximately four minutes. Let it rest for five minutes, then mix again for 2 minutes. The dough should be soft and it should stick to the bottom of your mixer bowl, but not to the sides. If it doesn’t stick to the bottom, add some more water. If it is sticking too much, add a little more flour.

Scrape the dough into a dough rising bucket (or a plain bowl covered with plastic wrap) sprayed with spray oil. I made multiple batches. Some I left out on the counter for about half an hour before putting in the refrigerator. Some I put right in the refrigerator. It didn’t seem to matter in the end.

The next day, take the dough out of the refrigerator and let it warm up for about two hours. The dough should be about doubled at the end of that time. For the personal size pizza we had at the party, I cut and weighed out the dough into 6 ounce balls, which made pizzas approximately 8 inches in diameter. This recipe made about 6 6-ounce crusts. You could make them bigger to get larger pizzas.

Preheat your oven to as hot as it will go (mine goes to 500 degrees F). On parchment paper or a metal cookie sheet or pizza sheet, spread out a little olive oil. With olive oil on your hands, stretch your dough from the center out, then put it on the paper or pan and press it out to form a circle. The dough will snap back at first; let it sit for a few minutes and then come back to press it out further. I did a bunch of these all at the same time, pressing them in turn until I got them as thin as I wanted (about half an inch for a thin crust). If you like your pizza thicker, then just don’t press them out as much.

[An aside: I can never ever toss pizza or twirl it or use any other method than pressing without it ripping. I have no pizza tossing skills.]

When the oven is preheated and your dough is all stretched out, pop them into the oven for five minutes. I did mine one right after the other.

If you wanted to bake them at this point, or run them outside to the grill, you could top them and bake them another 5-7 minutes at the same oven temperature.

If you want to wait to make them, cool them on a rack until they are no longer warm. Wrap them in a plastic bag and leave them out at room temperature if you plan to bake them within the next day or so. If you are going to wait longer than that, I would freeze them by double-wrapping in plastic and popping them in the freezer. You can take them out on the day you want to make them. I had some that were frozen, and they defrosted pretty quickly, within a few hours.

For the party, we had tomato sauce, pesto, and garlic oil, along with shredded mozzarella and sliced fresh mozzarella, and tomatoes, and some of our guests brought along fresh basil and oregano, red peppers, and chicken for the non-vegetarians among us. Everyone made their own pizzas. We preheated the grill on a low-medium temperature and grilled four at a time for approximately 5-7 minutes, until the crust was browned on the edges and the cheese was melted. It was a lot easier than I expected, and we were able to get them all made in a fairly short amount of time. Best of all, we had leftover crusts for the next day! I think I still have some in my freezer, too.

[This is continuing a series of short movie reviews I used to do on our old blog, Population Five]

Whatever Works: If you are a religious, Red State Republican, you should move to New York City and convert to atheism, liberalism, and unorthodox sexuality, and you will be much happier. Now, I lived in New York City for three years, and no one could be more supportive of atheism, liberalism, and unorthodox sexuality than I am, but even I found this to be a little condescending.

Also, did the teenage girl have to fall in love with the elderly curmudgeon? Really? Again? I actually liked Larry David’s character, but he is the only memorable thing about it. Except for Patricia Clarkson. I wish she hadn’t undergone her metamorphosis, because I liked her a lot better as the hyperventilating Southern matriarch.

The Black Dahlia: I am pretty sure that if you manage to get yourself the nickname “Black Dahlia” while still living, it is only a matter of time before you will end up an unsolved murder victim. And this was based on a true story!

I didn’t much like this movie, and I really didn’t like the ending. It was trying to be a 1940s-style movie, and couldn’t pull it off. The acting by all four leads was decent, but the story was confused and meandering. Also, I had serious objections to Josh Hartnett’s severely center-parted hair. I realize that is not a substantive criticism, but it had to be said.

On movies that are actually still in theaters, I do not want to see Avatar, no matter how many times it is described as “the future of movie-making.” I thought huge amounts of post-production, CGI, and special effects at the expense of storytelling were the present of movie-making. It’s depressing to think that will be the future as well.

People, I have decided to look into buying a house. I was always planning to buy one eventually, and the market is so good right now for buyers. That, in addition to the fact that I prequalified for a first-time homeowners’ loan and will be eligible for an $8,000 tax credit, convinced me that I should at least look for one before the deadline expires on November 30. I figure if I can’t find anything I like and can afford before then, I will continue to rent.

However these beginning few days of home searching have been so stressful that I am not sure I will live to see the end of the process. I might die of sleep deprivation before then, counting endlessly over in my head possible mortgage payments and budgeting plans.

You see, I have never bought a house before. And up until now, I have had a significant amount of disposable income which I have been…well…disposing of. Will I be able to survive not having extra money to spend on kitchen equipment? What about traveling? Can I force myself to spend less than $400 a month on groceries? For two people? Who are vegetarians (at least at home, Mike counts as one too)? I know that might seem excessive, but the point is, I have been used to excess. Buying a house is the most financially responsible thing to do, since I will be putting all that extra money into something worthwhile, but it also makes me nervous.

Here is something else I have learned about home shopping: the importance of property taxes in what makes something affordable. I went into the process assuming it was all about the purchase price. I am learning that is not nearly the most important thing, since the purchase price can vary by what seems like a lot without making much of an impact on your monthly payment. But property taxes — which, here in New Jersey, vary widely in each little township and are also the highest in the nation — make a huge difference in what is affordable or not. In some instances, a house that is $10k or $20k more than one in a neighboring town is significantly cheaper per month, all because of the property taxes.

Also, I have learned that some people have not updated their interior decor since the 1950s.

Since I have been sick for the past THREE days, it is probably an appropriate time to talk about my new neti pot.

I definitely did not think I would ever have a neti pot. I had no doubt that they worked. Everyone I know who has tried them told me they were the best thing ever for colds, allergies, and general sinus unhappiness.

But you see, I had a problem with the idea of pouring salt water into my head. I don’t like the sensation of water up my nose. I always hold my nose going underwater when I am swimming. I do not like to be dunked unexpectedly. I blame this on my grandfather throwing a much smaller me into a lake (after he promised he wouldn’t) to “teach” me how to swim. Needless to say, the only thing I learned from that incident was not to trust adults.

But I have been having low-grade sinus issues for months. There was stuff in my head, just enough to be bothersome, but not enough to make me definitively sick. I didn’t have an infection or a fever. It was just annoying. So I decided to try the neti pot.

The idea behind a neti pot is that you pour warm salted water into one nostril and it COMES OUT THE OTHER NOSTRIL. I don’t have a good grasp of cranial-facial structure, so this seems almost miraculous.

You can see an illustration here. This woman looks entirely too happy to be performing this process. Trust me, when I do it, there is a lot more dripping and coughing and swearing.

I even had to buy special neti pot salt, since you need un-iodized table salt. I don’t have any table salt – just kosher and sea – and neither of those would work.

So my verdict is, yes, the neti pot is unpleasant when you are actually doing it. It is hard for me to get the angle of my head right so the salt water doesn’t trickle down the back of my throat. However, it is incredibly effective. I have been using it to combat this cold, and I think it is even more effective than the pseudophedrine at clearing my head so I can breathe. It is not fun, but it does work.